Gazpacho.

Gazpacho as I have had it always bothers me. It was glorified picadillo with a taste that reminded me of a tart bloody mary. I hate bloody marys, they taste like V8, which in my book is disgusting. In any case, my boyfriend loves it. I aim to please and he has been working extra hard this week, so I started to think about gazpacho. I wondered: how do i make it less tart and more flavorful? I had food memories of a trip to Spain, the first thing that came to mind was this indescribably good dish I had: avocado with vinaigrette inside each half (where the pit once was). Then I began to think about what gazpacho really is at its core. I think its salad. I then set out to make the best gazpacho ever.

I started out by chopping tomatoes (seeding them into the bowl first). When I only had two tomatoes left, I had watermelon hanging around and thought the texture of the two for the tomato juice soup base would be perfect; it would take away from the acidity of the tomatoes. I blended the two tomatoes with a few chunks of watermelon, added salt and a dash of baking soda (counteracts the acid) and it was perfect. I threw it into the bowl.

The next thing I started thinking about was onions. When I make salad I always try and pickle the onions in the vinegar or salad dressing while I work on other things so that they have a chance to lose that sharpness. The onions usually mellow in flavor, change in turgidity and become sweeter.

I started by juicing half a lime and then chopped three medium garlic cloves. I used the italian method of smashing the garlic with salt, pepper and olive oil to make a fine paste. The garlic is uncooked, so this intensifies the flavor without being overpowering. I added the paste to the lime juice and added red wine vinegar. I always salt and pepper the dressing at this point because it can dissolve in the vinegar, later on the oil prevents it from mixing well. I added mustard just like in dressing and then added the worcestershire and just half a dash of vanilla and soy sauce. I know, weird, but I have weird gut instincts when it comes to tomatoes. I grew up eating so many tomato based dishes (mexican) that I just know what helps. Anyway I started to think that it was almost a french mignonette. Migonette is delicious dressing made with red wine vinegar, chopped tomatoes and chopped basil. Its so simple yet intensely savory with the right amount of garlic and truffle oil. I threw tomato and basil in and blended and then I added a bunch of truffle oil. Perfect!

Then I started to think about sun-dried tomatoes because I was going to soak golden raisins in brandy for my fiber breakfast bars. I microwaved 3-4 sun-dried tomatoes (not in oil) for two minutes in a bit of water and brandy (half and half-just so they were covered). I tried blending this and it was hard. It didnt really work, but I did blend them a long time and then separated the pulp from the juice and into the giant glass bowl it went.

I made tiny matchsticks of the celery (about one small stalk), 2 jalape~os (seeded) and 3/4 of a cucumber (seeded) and chopped them into millimiter cubes. They got dumped in.

Then assembly. Dumped the juice in, the vinegarette (w/onions), 2 heaping tablespoons of tomato paste into the ginourmous glass bowl and added water as needed. Ladled the 'soup' into a bowl. Added cubes of avocado to the bowl directly --to ensure it doesnt become mushy in the soup and to ensure I had a bunch in my bowl. Some chopped cilantro and the taste had just enough sweetness so that its a background note (you cant taste the watermelon). The vinaigrette added a richness and a bright acidity that was not overpowering. The tomatoes' own acidity was tempered by the watermelon and two tablespoons of tomato paste. NO salty tomato juice or canned tomatoes allowed!

Half an inch in one and a half weeks

Its amazing that it just keeps going. I am cooking alot more, which is more due to finances than diet. Still, its the start of the semester and things have not yet been hectic. I now have two gym buddies and I am enjoying cooking for friends. It seems things are looking up. I am nearly in my 8s. I can pull them on at least, but still with the "muffin" top, so I have a bit to go.

Month one: one size!!!

one dress size down!!!!

My Hair

In an effort to thicken my baby fine shiny healthy hair I permed it at home. While I dont regret the decision its a catch 22. My hair looks fuller and really holds curls well but it is fragile and it seems like I am losing more hair. The last time I lost so much hair was when I did not eat for three months in college. It was my sad and desperate attempt (the only thing that worked) to lose weight.

I am mulling over differing approaches to hair loss. Lumagen, a glaucoma medication causes extreme growth of the eyelashes with few side effects. I will research a bit more and decide between that and progaine or even something like spiro. Honestly its not a big deal, there are other bigger fish to fry, but I will not miss being able to finger comb my hair and having it dry in 3 minutes flat.

I guess its time to find a real stylist up for a challenge. My last haircut lasted all of ten minutes and it shows! I've never had a worse haircut! I miss my old stylist. I miss the gays (believe me no one was straight and I loved it!!) in the salon in Mexico that are so so so dependable!

Fresh, clean slate

After many years of struggling with my weight, I finally pestered (advocated for myself) doctors enough to listen to my concerns in light of my "healthy" lab results. It seems that my healthy lifestyle was keeping me from getting diagnosed with PCOS and other things despite my years of complaints.

I am finally on "the" magic bullet for my particular weight loss struggle: Metformin...the diahbeeehtus (think of the liberty commercial) medication. In only three days in and I have already garnered a five pound weightloss!!! Incredible in light of the miles and miles I ran for hours on end on just 1500 calories a day which would only lead to that much in one or even two months of hard work, if that (if I had not reached a plateau).

Many women with PCOS are overweight, some are not. Many start their weightloss journey as a brand new "lifestyle" change. I can proudly say that my lifestyle does NOT need changing!!! I have all the tools, I am not on a healthy diet (I already eat "diet amounts" calorically on an everyday basis). I just eat lean protein, legumes and fresh fruits, veggies and whole grains (except for that 35 cal bread).

So I now finally !!! have the energy to workout given that metformin is "releasing" the energy in the foods I eat. Whereas in the past, it was all getting turned into fat. I guess this is not going to be one of those inspirational blogs where I tell you how I did it. This is a documentation of my thoughts and feelings so that I am accountable on days that I am unmotivated. I also hope to pen this memoir as a tool for women that are not yet diagnosed. This is not going to be laden with medical jargon or abbreviations, instead my thoughts, emotions, physical state will be documented.