Friday, March 9, 2012


After 26 days of juicing I have decided to take a break and just do "regular" dieting. I have decided on a high raw diet with cooked proteins. Yesterday I had a berry smoothie with protein powder and almond milk and lunch was a salmon salad and dinner was a chicken salad with buffalo sauce. Yummy! I really have lost taste for more heavy foods. I prefer my salads, raw fresh juices and raw foods. I feel better on them and my fridge is full of beautiful produce that just makes me smile. Today I brought carrots, an apple and pineapple to munch on as snacks and I am so excited to eat them when I get hungry. I really feel as though a high raw diet with cooked proteins or beans is going to be key for me. I am going to stay away from carbs that are not fruit for now unless I plan on a long run.

I did not gain any weight after coming off my juice diet which shows that the weight loss is holding and will hold as long as I am careful about what I eat and keep exercising. I hope to do a 7 mile run tomorrow so I am excited to run in the warm 59 degree weather!!

I feel like a new person. I feel positive about my diet. I say diet as in what I am eating not a regular "diet" as in a fad or trendy way of eating or temporary diet. This high raw diet has worked for me better than any other eating plan has ever before and I think its healthier than anything else I've tried before. Besides its automatically low in calories given that its mostly raw fruits and veggies.

Monday, March 5, 2012

New Day

This past Friday I was still in that negative, angry and frustrated headspace. Its over now, but it was so hard to feel that way and have no control over it. It was so bad I had to go home from work. I slept most of the day away - I was tired, depressed and angry. I was angry I have this disease and angry that I am so hungry all the time.

I had a cheat meal that day and it did make me feel better, but it also made me realize that the food I was eating was not good for me and it wasn't as good as I remembered. Either way I don't have eating "issues" like most bloggers. I don't eat "emotionally" or binge. I eat reasonably and I've lost two more lbs as a result. I am still on my modified juice diet. Its good for me to have such a high amount of nutrition with low calories. Its just working for me and I have to keep at it until it is no longer manageable.

My partner left yesterday on a business trip and I realized how much support he gives me and how important he is in all of this. He is super supportive. He makes my juice, keeps me motivated and keeps me accountable. Without his help this would be nearly impossible -- his role in all of this is that important. He just keeps my eyes on the prize and helps as much as possible by making me juice when I am too tired or too annoyed to make it. He goes to the gym with me and is just generally so accepting, loving and supportive. I have this huge hurdle with weight loss, but at least I have someone to help me.

I hate that this process is so "all consuming" though I am lucky that work is so chill right now that I have the time to just work and lose the weight. Once I hit 14 more lbs lost I think I will at least be more comfortable in my own body again. I want to wear minis again - it was my trademark but since I've gained the weight its been impossible to wear because my legs aren't as toned as they used to be from all the running. I also love that I am an athlete again. While I am not as fast as I used to be its great to improve every week. This week's accomplishment is running 5 miles indoors which is really difficult mentally, moreso than physically. Anyway I hope next weekend is warmer because I really want to run 7/8 miles outside.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


This has been a hard 18 days. Not impossible, but difficult. I don't think I am getting enough calories, but I am just that committed to losing weight. I am just so tired of not losing for days and days. I have lost 12 lbs so far. Its really not a lot but its a lot more than I would normally lose.

I take a lot of strength from my friend who has stage iv cancer and is still fighting the good fight. This is nothing compared to fighting for your life.

I'm experiencing fatigue and its getting to me. I just want to eat so that I am not tired, but we will see. I hope to lose another 10 lbs with it, so I just have to keep chugging along. I committed to this and I am going to see it through.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Mental Breakdown

I am starting to feel the stress of this diet. I've only lost 5 pounds in 14 days. Yes I've lost weight, but its just a grueling diet. I'm losing my mind because its not fair that others on juice diets lose an average of 1-2 lbs a day. I am just so tired and DISGUSTED with being at this weight that I can no longer handle it. I am about to snap and the only thing left is to just not eat at all. I am seriously thinking about it only because this is driving me insane.

Friday, February 17, 2012


SO...I've been keeping something from you all - I have been juicing. Not just in the traditional sense. I am eating nothing but fruit and vegetable juice and this is day 7. I've not had a major major problem with it so far. Its been difficult at times of course, but all in all its worth the amount of weight I think I've been losing. I am not yet sure of how much weight because of two complicating factors. My period and the fact that my scale is off. I weighed myself last at my friend's house and I've seen an 8lb loss so far since last Saturday. That only leaves me 10 more lbs to lose to be at where I started last.

I've been juicing carrots, pineapple, spinach, celery, cucumbers, pears, apples, strawberries. I've been drinking smoothies in the morning comprised of spinach, blueberries and strawberries or blackberries with almond milk and protein powder. I really don't know how many calories I am eating, but I am sure I am getting proper nutrition in.

This is extreme, but this disease is extreme and I will take any lengths to beat it. I want to stop taking metformin because my body will be able to process sugar. I want to have completely normal A1C numbers. This juicing thing is here to stay. Its not permanent by any stretch of the imagination but it will be a part of my regular diet - especially the green juices.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

One more pound!!

I dont even know whats going on. I think my body is just not comfortable at this weight because this makes 5 lbs since Sunday!!!!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Two more lbs!

So I am four lbs down total! WHAT a relief! I can't believe its going so well. This scares me for the plateaus I will hit - to keep motivated for them. I guess at the beginning of weight loss its always faster, but I hope this weight loss is a sustained one and not just water weight loss.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Half Marathon Training

So I did finally sign up for the marathon. A friend of mine chided me for saying that I don't pay to run, but I guess the other way did not work. Working towards a goal is a lot better rather than an undefined work-out. I've run 3 miles each day for two days now, so I feel good about starting this endeavor.

I sustained a 2 lb loss from Monday. I don't know what to attribute to it but I am thankful that its coming off. I dont suspect I will lose more than one more pound this week, but I am hopeful.

That's all for today - nothing exciting.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Surprise weight gain

It crept up on me but I gained. It's all because I was not careful. I don't know why I keep expecting something different from actions I know are not good for me - like not exercising. Ugh. I've got to move on and get crazy on this weight.

I've found out I am going on a cruise in December of this year. I've set a weight loss goal for 2 lbs a week in order to look decent. I've also vowed to run a half marathon. I think these two goals are going to motivate me.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Its been a long time

So its been some times since I last blogged. A lot has happened and none of it has been good. So I've gained some of the weight I lost, but I will continue to fight this as long as it takes.

I've been thinking about signing up for a half marathon just to have a goal, but not being able to run outside is difficult for training purposes. Training on a treadmill is just not nearly as good. Its much easier to run on a treadmill in terms of physical exertion, but its mentally more difficult for me to run on a treadmill. I don't know why but its just really hard to focus while on a treadmill. When I run outside I tend to focus on the scenery and my body's breathing and gait. While I run on a treadmill I tend to focus on the time and the speed at which I am running. This seems like a simple fix right? Just cover the time and speed controls - this is just impossible for me to do... I always know how fast I am running to begin with. Perhaps its just a matter of ego - wanting to run faster rather than enjoying the run like I do when I run outside. The other option is to simply put on my "gear" and run outside and suck it up.

Anyway, I think I have a renewed hope of getting this under control because right now I am a size 12 sometimes 14, which for someone 5'4 is just a mess.