Its been a long time

So its been some times since I last blogged. A lot has happened and none of it has been good. So I've gained some of the weight I lost, but I will continue to fight this as long as it takes.

I've been thinking about signing up for a half marathon just to have a goal, but not being able to run outside is difficult for training purposes. Training on a treadmill is just not nearly as good. Its much easier to run on a treadmill in terms of physical exertion, but its mentally more difficult for me to run on a treadmill. I don't know why but its just really hard to focus while on a treadmill. When I run outside I tend to focus on the scenery and my body's breathing and gait. While I run on a treadmill I tend to focus on the time and the speed at which I am running. This seems like a simple fix right? Just cover the time and speed controls - this is just impossible for me to do... I always know how fast I am running to begin with. Perhaps its just a matter of ego - wanting to run faster rather than enjoying the run like I do when I run outside. The other option is to simply put on my "gear" and run outside and suck it up.

Anyway, I think I have a renewed hope of getting this under control because right now I am a size 12 sometimes 14, which for someone 5'4 is just a mess.