Thursday, April 7, 2011

More tired...mentally

So I haven't worked out this week. My eating has been on plan and good, but I've been really really depressed and TIRED lately and I suspect it has a lot to do with my medications. I JUST recently upped the dose so I should be feeling the effects any day now. The biggest battle for weight loss is mental, so hopefully I can get past this little set-back.


Even though I have complained about weightloss blogs I was reading them again lately. I think a lot of people have problems with binging. Although I may overeat at times, its not to the level of binging; I truly do not have a problem with food. Its so frustrating that even my doctors suspect that its ME -- that I've been eating too much when it comes to weightloss. I wish I could change my doctor, but my insurance only covers university specialists, so unless I want to shell out $500 dollars, I am going to have to really complain at the office in May when my appointment is. I am going to come with a list of complaints and questions -- I know they do not know enough about hypothyroidism and PCOS so I will take what they tell me with a grain of salt.


I am disgusted by fat people -- me included. Its the sallow, yellow and grey acne ridden skin that really tells the story of malnutrition-- though not every overweight person has this. I just hate it when people say losing weight is hard -- its not hard if you are NORMAL and I want to shoot daggers at them. I am clinically insulin resistant so I have to take extreme measures to lose weight like exercise 1.5hours.


My skin is clear due to good nutrition. I feel sorry for them because they are simply not getting good nutrition. I feel sorry that they just either don't care about nutrition or dont want to know. My diet is not perfect, but its SO much better than a lot of weightloss bloggers out there. I've read bloggers who have lost like 100+ lbs and their nutrition is still based on packaged foods and nutrient poor things.


My only vice is bread and its my only carb-- I dont eat pasta or potatoes or white rice. Whole wheat bread is just not that nutritious. My goal for the rest of the week thur-sunday is to swap out bread for flatout wraps and to get to the gym each of those days for 1.5 hours or more. I eventually want to phase those out too. I would prefer to get my carbs through squash, sweet potatoes, oats, quinoa and fruit -- which now I do except for bread. I think I can do it -- I will not buy bread next time I am in the supermarket. I have crazy willpower in the supermarket -- I dont buy ANY junk.


I've also finished my sugar free jam so that will have to go too. I am trying unsuccessfully to phase out splenda and use agave syrup instead. Its just so hard when agave syrup doesnt come in convenient packets I can have in my purse. At work I've been using one packet of sugar -- which doesnt even taste good so I might just drink my tea plain -- which I've been doing and its OK. Since I am insulin resistant I think this would help tremendously.


My other goal is to plan my meals out this next week. I dont like planning because I like to only buy produce that is in season and is on sale, but I think planning would help me build better salads. Sorry for all the rambling thoughts but its what's on my mind. I hope my writing improves because right now its all rambly rants -- sorry! Oh well, I just want a place where I can vent -- this is not like a regular blog where I share "how I did it" its simple - eat healthy and workout -- if you cant figure that out you have problems. Yea there are little tips and tricks and different things that work for different people, but at the end of the day its about quality calories and exercise.

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